Lightweight Ruminations on Leadership

I’ve spoken with a higher authority, and He told me I misunderestimate what a mess I’ve made of America.  Now I can’t decide whether to stay the course, cut and run, flip flop, or go negotiate with the terrorists. Perhaps it’s March madness. I’m so perplexed I might just fire some U.S. Attorneys to get myself back on track. Or maybe I’ll tell Dick to tell Scooter to tell some stuff he shouldn’t tell.  I’m facing so many tough decisions it’s hard work.  I know I’m the decider and not deciding makes me look indecisive, so maybe I’ll just decide to build a 20-foot high fence and sit on it. People ask me how many American deaths it will take before Iraq has all the freedoms guaranteed in, say, the Patriot Act. I say Mission Accomplished! Folks wonder if a Shiite loyalist like Nouri al-Maliki is the right man to bring equal justice to all Iraqis.  I tell them that I looked the man in the eye, I was able to get a sense of his soul and it was scary, but things could work out – you don’t know! Other folks claim there’s a mushroom cloud hanging over my administration – no, wait: that was Condi talking about the mushroom cloud hanging over Iraq because of those darn weapons of mass destruction. Anyhow, you get the idea. This is hard work. Not like being a PR guy for a Texas baseball team. Now there was a job!